I remember an episode* of “Growing Pains” where Mike, Carol and Ben discover; through letters they find in their basement, that both their parents had been divorced. After confronting them, Jason and Maggie confess that they both had been divorced…from each other during a turbulent time early in their marriage.
Every family has skeletons in their closet. It can be divorce, illness, criminal records, anything. And those skeletons leave material footprints like photos, videos or documents. When going through your family history, especially recent history, the impulse is often to skip over or even discard those less-than-shining moments. But any story worth telling has to have drama, peril or obstacles.
When recently going through some family photos with my mother, we came across some of a relative and their former spouse. I had to stop my mother from throwing them away. We mustn’t rewrite history. We must be objective and recognize the value of lessons learned from mistakes made. I also think it is overdramatic and foolish to be embarrassed enough by your skeletons to not share and discuss them openly with your family. Your family’s younger generations are the ones who could benefit the most from past lessons. I know I've gained more respect and love for some of my family members after learning of some of their past trials while researching my family history.
I’m not saying you need to air your dirty laundry for all to see. Keep it in the family but at least share it with the family. This also serves to prevent rumors and dispel myths. Just invite those skeletons out of the closet and give them a discreet yet respectful place in your family history.
*“Growing Pains” Season 2, Episode 19: “The Awful Truth”
Original Air Date - March 17, 1987 (source: www.imdb.com)
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Media Migration
In millions of closets across the country, there are dusty shoe boxes that contain no shoes. But they’re not empty. They’re full of old home movies. Every once in a while, you may pull them out and set up the old project and pray that it doesn’t jam and destroy the film. But there’s a better way to view them while, at the same time, preserving them.While you’re film is slowly deteriorating, its main villain is that old, untrustworthy projector. There are many people who have old home movies on film and can’t even see them (and maybe never have) for want of a projector at all. Since no one makes projectors any more, one has to find them in antique stores. And even then, they may not be complete or in working order.
Media Migration is the answer. It’s a growing field and companies like Memories to DVD are popping up across the country to help transfer your old home moves to DVD or other digital formats (They also transfer VHS, slides, records and audio tapes). You might be leery of giving up your sentimental celluloid to anyone outside the family. But if you do your homework, you’ll rest easy knowing your film will be taken care of.
You can debate ‘till the credits roll about the best way to treat and condition film, but if you’re not doing it at all, you’re part of the problem. Look for accreditations like The Better Business Bureau or The AMIA.
Companies like this will also often offer other premium services like video editing, adding music and sound effects to silent film or even adding narration. I think this is a great way to pass down your home movies to future generations who would otherwise never know who the cast members are of their moving image heirlooms.
So free up those old shoe boxes for things like…shoes. Retire that antique projector to the bookshelf as a conversation piece. Transfer your old home movies to DVD (if you go to Memories to DVD, tell ‘em Phil sent ya). Then pop some popcorn, turn down the lights, settle into the couch and go back in time!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Decoration Day
As long as I can remember, my family has celebrated Decoration Day at Middleburg cemetery where my grandparents and many of my paternal ancestors are buried. I always thought this was a normal ritual and that every cemetery designated such a day but it seems that is not the case. Decoration Day was started as a way to honor those who gave their lives for our country by visiting and decorating their graves. That is what’s evolved into Memorial Day. But some families, communities and cemeteries still celebrate Decoration Day as a general celebration of family and those who’ve left us.
Middleburg Decoration Day has always consisted of my family getting together after church one Sunday afternoon for a potluck lunch and some socializing. A few would actually make a trip to the cemetery to place flowers, clean up around the grave markers and wander the grounds. What a great opportunity to teach the next generation about their ancestors. I’ll admit as a young child, I rarely went to the cemetery on Decoration Day. But, if you’re a frequent reader of this blog, you know I now never miss a trip to a cemetery.
Unfortunately, I was unable to attend this year’s Decoration Day at Middleburg but I heard my sister started a new tradition with her kids. They went to the cemetery to visit the grave of our grandmother who passed away last year. My nieces wrote notes to their late great-grandmother and tied them to helium balloons and then released them. What a fun new tradition!
Middleburg Decoration Day has always consisted of my family getting together after church one Sunday afternoon for a potluck lunch and some socializing. A few would actually make a trip to the cemetery to place flowers, clean up around the grave markers and wander the grounds. What a great opportunity to teach the next generation about their ancestors. I’ll admit as a young child, I rarely went to the cemetery on Decoration Day. But, if you’re a frequent reader of this blog, you know I now never miss a trip to a cemetery.
Unfortunately, I was unable to attend this year’s Decoration Day at Middleburg but I heard my sister started a new tradition with her kids. They went to the cemetery to visit the grave of our grandmother who passed away last year. My nieces wrote notes to their late great-grandmother and tied them to helium balloons and then released them. What a fun new tradition!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The Great “Grand/Great” Debate
Would you rather someone say you were “great” or that you were “grand”? This isn’t a trick question and I’m not trying to make a fat joke.
When stating someone’s relationship to you, you have to be very careful to be clear. But, like much of the English language, there are several ways of stating a relationship.
For instance, my grandfather’s brother would be my great-uncle. But I could also call him my granduncle. Conversely, he could refer to me as his grandnephew. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anybody use the prefix “grand” before uncle, aunt, nephew or niece but apparently you can - and is, in fact, the technically correct way of stating such relationships.
I have to admit that I like this – not only because it cuts down on having to add an extra “great” onto that great-great-great-granduncle but also because it keeps him on the same level (and number of “greats”) as the great-great-great-grandfather and thus making it easier to keep track of what generation he belongs to.
I guess you don’t have to choose between being “great” or “grand.” You get them both with time. You start off being just a plain, run-of-the-mill parent. Then you become a grandparent. Then, if you live long enough, you’re a great and grandparent.
Maybe we can export this to other conversational phrases. I hope you have a grand day tomorrow. And I hope the next day is a great-grandday!
When stating someone’s relationship to you, you have to be very careful to be clear. But, like much of the English language, there are several ways of stating a relationship.
For instance, my grandfather’s brother would be my great-uncle. But I could also call him my granduncle. Conversely, he could refer to me as his grandnephew. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anybody use the prefix “grand” before uncle, aunt, nephew or niece but apparently you can - and is, in fact, the technically correct way of stating such relationships.
I have to admit that I like this – not only because it cuts down on having to add an extra “great” onto that great-great-great-granduncle but also because it keeps him on the same level (and number of “greats”) as the great-great-great-grandfather and thus making it easier to keep track of what generation he belongs to.
I guess you don’t have to choose between being “great” or “grand.” You get them both with time. You start off being just a plain, run-of-the-mill parent. Then you become a grandparent. Then, if you live long enough, you’re a great and grandparent.
Maybe we can export this to other conversational phrases. I hope you have a grand day tomorrow. And I hope the next day is a great-grandday!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Profile: Leander K. Baker
Born: April 9, 1839, Rowan County, North Carolina
Died: December 2, 1922, Crockett County, Tennessee
Relationship to me: 2nd great granduncle. Brother to 2nd great grandfather, James Henry Baker
Leander was born to Moses and Sophia Baker in North Carolina in 1839. Both of his grandfathers were German immigrants*. Around 1845, when he was only about 6 years old, he and his family headed west, settling briefly in Mississippi where his younger brother, James Henry, was born. A few years later, the family moved into Hardeman County, Tennessee.
When the Civil War broke out, Leander enlisted in the Confederate Army and was sent to Columbus, Kentucky. He first saw battle at Fort Donelson, TN. Serving in the 7th Tennessee E Company (a.k.a. Duckworth’s Cavalry) he also saw action at the battle of Shiloh. He recalled wearing few cloths and sometimes going for 9 days with only one biscuit to eat. His company started with 147 men and had only 9 living at the conclusion of the war. Leander was crippled by a runaway team of horses in Corinth, Mississippi and was discharged. He heard of Lee’s surrender while at home in Hardeman County, TN*.
After the war, he married Elizabeth Ann “Bettie” Fulghum and they had 6 children together. Leander was a farmer the rest of his life. After his wife died in 1886, Leander moved to Crockett County, Tennessee where he lived the remainder of his years.
Leander died in 1922 and is buried in the Cairo Cemetery in Cairo, Tennessee.
*Source: Civil War Veteran Questionnaire, Tennessee State Archives
Died: December 2, 1922, Crockett County, Tennessee
Relationship to me: 2nd great granduncle. Brother to 2nd great grandfather, James Henry Baker
Leander was born to Moses and Sophia Baker in North Carolina in 1839. Both of his grandfathers were German immigrants*. Around 1845, when he was only about 6 years old, he and his family headed west, settling briefly in Mississippi where his younger brother, James Henry, was born. A few years later, the family moved into Hardeman County, Tennessee.
When the Civil War broke out, Leander enlisted in the Confederate Army and was sent to Columbus, Kentucky. He first saw battle at Fort Donelson, TN. Serving in the 7th Tennessee E Company (a.k.a. Duckworth’s Cavalry) he also saw action at the battle of Shiloh. He recalled wearing few cloths and sometimes going for 9 days with only one biscuit to eat. His company started with 147 men and had only 9 living at the conclusion of the war. Leander was crippled by a runaway team of horses in Corinth, Mississippi and was discharged. He heard of Lee’s surrender while at home in Hardeman County, TN*.
After the war, he married Elizabeth Ann “Bettie” Fulghum and they had 6 children together. Leander was a farmer the rest of his life. After his wife died in 1886, Leander moved to Crockett County, Tennessee where he lived the remainder of his years.
Leander died in 1922 and is buried in the Cairo Cemetery in Cairo, Tennessee.
*Source: Civil War Veteran Questionnaire, Tennessee State Archives
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Lincoln’s watch tells more than time
What a cool story! This guy grew up hearing a family story about his great-great grandfather engraving something at the beginning of the Civil War on the inside of a pocket watch that was eventually given to President Lincoln. This story was finally confirmed when the watch was cracked open revealing the inscription.
Read the full story.
Read the full story.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Obituaries
Most of my “simple farmer” ancestors rarely had anything written about them. They never even got in enough trouble to be mentioned in court documents. I imagine they did most of their business with a handshake and not on paper. So, an obituary is about the only thing I’m able to find on them.
I was very excited to find this obituary of my paternal 3x Great Grandfather, Moses Baker in the December 18th 1884 edition of the Bolivar Bulletin Times. I had hoped that it would include information on where he is buried but unfortunately, it’s vague on that point. (Note the story above it mentioning a Dr. Neely, a prominent citizen who I’ve theorized is the source of my paternal grandfather, Neely’s first name.)
I read that Moses’ wife, Sophia had died in a house fire years earlier. So, I was excited to confirm this with this news story and her obituary in the same newspaper issue (Bolivar Bulletin Times ,October 10, 1878).
I’ve heard that the low man on the newspaper totem pole is given the grim task of writing the obituaries. Ironic since obituaries are probably read by a wide range of people and provide valuable historical information. I think about this when sitting at a microfilm machine in the Tennessee State Archives, scrolling through an old edition of a local newspaper, past important news stories of the day to find an obituary. I wonder who the little lackey was that grumbled over having to write this obit when, over a century later, someone is more eager to read their work than that of their superiors.
I was very excited to find this obituary of my paternal 3x Great Grandfather, Moses Baker in the December 18th 1884 edition of the Bolivar Bulletin Times. I had hoped that it would include information on where he is buried but unfortunately, it’s vague on that point. (Note the story above it mentioning a Dr. Neely, a prominent citizen who I’ve theorized is the source of my paternal grandfather, Neely’s first name.)
I read that Moses’ wife, Sophia had died in a house fire years earlier. So, I was excited to confirm this with this news story and her obituary in the same newspaper issue (Bolivar Bulletin Times ,October 10, 1878).
I’ve heard that the low man on the newspaper totem pole is given the grim task of writing the obituaries. Ironic since obituaries are probably read by a wide range of people and provide valuable historical information. I think about this when sitting at a microfilm machine in the Tennessee State Archives, scrolling through an old edition of a local newspaper, past important news stories of the day to find an obituary. I wonder who the little lackey was that grumbled over having to write this obit when, over a century later, someone is more eager to read their work than that of their superiors.
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